East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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