im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
