and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I love you.
Bad choice
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
