At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You pole danced in your parka.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
