i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I smell stomach acid.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
