The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
