We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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