left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
