Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
