Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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