So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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