the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
