So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
