Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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