apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
