Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
