TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
