if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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