I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
