How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
