don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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