He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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