he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
