Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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