i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
