Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
