and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I love you.
Bad choice
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
