Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
