Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
