I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
