I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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