I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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