After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
