She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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