Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
