I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
