fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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