just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
