I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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