But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
