So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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