just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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