More tranny stories later!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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