the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
