so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
