I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
