so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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