No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
