I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Drake has all the answers
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
