..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
