When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
