I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
